Once upon a time, there lived in a dingy prison cell a man named Edgar. Ever since his third year of school, he had lived with a reputation of being quite unkillable. Strangely enough, this made him quite a dangerous fellow. For where ever Edgar went, there were sure to be all sorts of fool-headed sods who thought they might be the one to best him and undo that fateful reputation. Sure enough though, Edgar was vitally stubborn and refused to be snuffed.
The only thing left to do with someone who attracted such dangerous attention (bringing such grievous harm to both his attackers and the surrounding environment) was to throw him into a prison and forget that you had done so.
Of course, as any third year student will tell you, prisons are dangerous places indeed.
~~~
"How there!" called a surly prison guard to our hero, "You're the one they call Edgar Unkillable!"
Edgar, with a tilt of his head, combed the guard over with his eyes.
"Well now! You seem a rotten tripe! I think I'll be killing you right up!"
The truth of the matter was that the guard wasn't entirely sure that this particular prisoner was Edgar at all, as none of the other guards were willing to expound on the subject. This man seemed down-right filthy, hunched in the corner of his cell, content to brood and breathe the atmosphere of the prison.
With a clanking of keys, the cell door swung open.
"Ho, ho, ho!" the guard chortled, "I'll rid you of this reputation, and find for myself some fame!"
He drew his sword, and with some trepidation stabbed the grubby resident of the cell in the side. With a sigh, his quarry fell to the floor in a most unnatural manner. His limbs seemed to fall uncomfortably at odd angles, and the weight of the bleeding body slumped against the wall.
The guard was all but convinced at this point that he had ended the wrong man, and was concerned about what explanation he would render to the warden. He turned toward the corridor and exhaled. "Shoo." It was a long dreary sound, like the rattling of tumors and permeated membranes.
Behind him Edgar uncurled and rose silently behind his attacker. The flow of blood from the wound was waning, and in the shadow and grime it was hard to make out that there was ever a gulf in his side at all.
Without care for style or grace, Edgar Unkillable efficiently broke the prison guard and took his ring of keys. It was time for a holiday far from this prison cell. Edgar wanted to spend some time far from the moaning of this dreary prison. He could see himself many cities away. Perhaps he imagined himself even whole kingdoms away, doing all sorts of things related to "Not Dying." First though, Edgar wanted to punch someone in the face.
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on Tuesday, October 12, 2010
at Tuesday, October 12, 2010
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Edgar,
Edgar Unkillable,
Punch Face,
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